SATURDAY 19.09.1981, CENTRAL PARK, NYC, USA.
On September 19 1981 the legendary folk outfit Simon & Garfunkel (consisting of course of Paul Simon i.e the ‘Simon’ of it all, and Art Garfunkel i.e the ‘Garfunkel’ of the duo) performed a surprise free concert in Central Park to a crowd of an estimated 500,000 people. The concert was put in place to raise funds to upkeep and preserve Central Park which had come under disrepair due to lack of civic funding in the late 70s. The two entered the stage from behind an elevated green door to stage left making it the first time they appeared performing together in public in over 10 years following their contentious break up in 1970. Hundreds of thousands of New Yorkers waited patiently, through the early rain, to see their return. The following is what occurred between the pair right before stepping out onto the stage.
Simon & Garfunkel stood at the bottom of the stairs which led up to the green stage door. Garfunkel noticeably (and famously) towered over Paul with seven inches between them.
Garfunkel muttered under his breath,“I want to go out first.”
“Sorry, what was that Art?” Simon replied with his signature slow, reserved way of speaking.
Art cleared his throat and proceeded, “I’d like to go out first; to step out first. In front of everyone”
“You can’t do that.” Simon turned to Garfunkel, the guitar strapped around his shoulder served as a barrier between the two, “It’s Simon and Garfunkel, you are Garfunkel are you not?”
“What about alphabetically? G is before S, or either way A is before P.”
After a moment of contemplation Simon responded, “I’ll give you that, sure, but you simply can’t go out before me; I’m Paul Simon.”
“Well I’m Art Garfunkel.”
The mayor of New York at the time, Edward Koch, walked by the two on his way to the stage, accompanied by two members of the New York Police Department. Mayor Koch was giving a short speech (a speech as short as six words; those words being “Ladies and gentlemen, Simon and Garfunkel”) to introduce the two to the stage. Koch patted Simon & Garfunkel on the shoulders, “You ready boys?”
“Sure are Mr. Mayor.” Simon peeped.
“Yes sir.” followed Art.
“Hell of a turn out. Everybody is so excited about this, it’s going to be great for the city.”
“We really hope so Mr. Mayor.” said Simon.
“Yeah we really hope so.” echoed Art.
“Alright, best of luck out there.”
Koch patted them on the back once more and started making his way toward his stage entrance.
“Thank you Mr Mayor” they said in unison.
Art could not help but think he ought to start getting in first in the conversation over Paul if he was to ever be taken seriously about going out on stage first.
Garfunkel left his post at the foot of the stairs and picked up after the mayor, “Sorry, excuse me, Mr. Mayor, do you mind changing one little thing about your introduction?”
Simon trailed after the two with his guitar, strapped, waggling on his lap with each stride.
Art continued, “Say, when you’re reading out the names-”
“-What is he saying?” Simon squeaked.
Art put his arm around Mayor Koch as they walked, “Would you be able to say Garfunkel first, when you go up there, so ‘ladies and gentlemen, Garfunkel and Simon’ we’re coming back alphabetically.”
The mayor stopped and looked at the two stunned. He turned to little Paul Simon, “Is this true?”
“Is what true Mr. Mayor?”
“Ladies and Gentlemen, Garfunkel and Simon?” rattled off in monotonous suspicion.
“No of course not Mr. Mayor,” replied Paul, “That’s ridiculous. That’s not a thing, it’s never been a thing. Mr. Mayor, you just go up there over to that little microphone they got set up for you and you say whatever you were meant to say, no changes.”
“Alright Simon. Good luck out there you two.”
“Thank you Mr. Mayor.” they replied, once more, in unison.
Simon grabbed Garfunkel by the forearm and brought him back over to their set of stairs, “Jesus Christ man are you out of your mind!?”
Art whimpered, “Now would be the perfect time to make a change, seeing as this is our big comeback and everything, it’s the perfect time to start fresh. With a new approach”
“It’s not the time.”
“Alright, alright, but I still want to go out first.”
They stood at the bottom of the stairs together. They watched from across backstage as Mayor Koch took his steps up to the stage.
“This is exactly why we don’t do this anymore…” Paul fixed his suit jacket and adjusted his guitar strap, “also, your hair looks stupid.”
“Stupid? This is how my hair’s always been.”
The energy had shifted to that of the countless interactions that preceded their breakup over 10 years prior. Art visited a shrink, Dr. Berkel, twice a week after a bout of depression as a result of the whole situation and how it all ended. With Berkel he learned a number of mental exercises to not become heated when faced with conflict and Simon’s passing jabs. He focused instead on the big green door atop the set of stairs and not the five-foot songwriter to his left who had recently begun combing over his hair to cover his receding hairline.
They could hear a raucous roaring applause from the bottom of the stairs, the applause was followed by the muffled electrically amplified voice of Mr. Mayor Koch, “Ladies and Gentlemen; Simon & Garfunkel.”
At that very moment as Simon made his first step up towards the door Garfunkel lunged forward, using his height to his advantage. Simon in response tugged on Garfunkel’s waistcoat and shucked him back down a few steps. Garfunkel’s head bobbed and wagged as Paul drew him back. They wedged together as they battled up the stairs in the cramped stairwell, sandwiching the guitar between them. Garfunkel wriggled his way through and up to the green door ahead of Paul.
“You fucking idiot!” Simon didn’t curse very often but when he did it hurt Art’s feelings.
Garfunkel blasted out through the green door and was met with a deafening wave of screams, whoops, and hollers for the first time in over ten years from the 500,000 sets of eyes that stared right up at the two of them. They started their set with Mrs. Robinson. Art Garfunkel got out first.
